A Heartbreaking Day

Friday was possibly the hardest day so far. We began the day following along on WE-ACTx couselors' home visits. They visit their patients-- the poorest of the poor, those with the most problems. I went with two women, Amy and Nancy, and Odille was our counselor. To get to the first family, we had to climb halfway up one of the giant hills for which Rwanda is famous. The husband met us on the main road to escort us and show us the way. We followed a rocky, dirt path, that wound itself between homes. Finally we arrived at this two-room home. We had a seat on the couch and chairs in the living room, which was maybe 7-feet by 7-feet. It was connected to a bedroom, and that was the entire house. They rent the house and pay the equivalent of $20/month. This seems extraordinarily high. The husband is HIV+. The wife and children are fortunate enough not to be infected. They have 4 kids and an aunt also lives with them. However there are some issues between the husband and wife so she sleeps elsewhere.

It was hard to hear their story. He used to sell used sandals at the market. However, when he first got really sick, he sold everything. Now, thanks to WE-ACTx he is taking ARVs (anti-retrovirals) and has his strength back. The problem is that he does not have the upstart funds ($100) to buy the first initial package of sandals so he can get his business going again. Instead, the wife has to serve as the breadwinner for the family. She doesn't have steady work and just takes any odd job she can find. There is rarely enough food for all the mouths they have to feed and the husband has some problems when he has to take his ARVs on an empty stomach. He thinks about his own death often and his biggest concern is what he will be able to leave for his children when he dies. If I translated correctly, he told us, "If you are good people, you will buy me a house so that I can leave it for my children." How do you respond? What was most amazing is that despite all the hardships this family faces, he always spoke with a subtle smile on his face and there was a very quiet dignity about the both of them. Again, I am faced with this question of why have I been so lucky and this family so unlucky?

I was hurt the most, though, when he showed us his photos while we waited for his wife to arrive. He took a picture frame off a peg in the wall. It contained many photos. The protective glass was already broken in a few pieces. He was proud to show us a photo of his family, to share that with us. The frame was one of the few decorations on the wall. When he went to hang it up, the glass fell out and shattered on the floor. His prized possession. He didn't complain or utter a word. Instead, he took the frame into his bedroom and collected the glass and disposed of it outside. It was hard to watch. For someone who already has so little, this too, was now destroyed.

We took public transit to the next home visit. Unfortunately, we did not have a gift of rice and sugar to offer this family as we'd had with the first. The woman lived right along the street. Her husband, who was also HIV+ left her for some unknown reason. She lost her house in that process and now is living with her 4 children at her friend's house. But her friend has told her that she must leave at the end of August. She does not know where she'll go. She is on ARVs. The only health problem she has is that sometimes she doesn't have food with which to take her pills. She doesn't have a job. It was ironic when she asked us to bow our heads and prayed for everyone in the room, ourselves included. Here she was praying that God would be with us and benefit us. It was a special moment. I felt so inadequate.

We took transit back to the clinic where we joined the rest of the group. Then we went to a lovely lunch. It seemed so wrong to enjoy a feast after humbly sitting in people's homes where they do not have enough food to take with their pills and feed their children.

And on that note, it is time for dinner. As I fell behind on blogging, I'm going to slowly try and bring it up to speed. Please note, I made two entries just now. Tomorrow we will spend the day at the UN Millenium Village and then fly to Uganda. Hopefully we'll have internet access there too. But as always, no promises. I hope you enjoy the new look for my blog. I realized the last format was hard to read.